Life continues to be a puzzle for many people as we continuously trudge through its many streams. The stream of relationships has however being attacked with a number of issues amongst which is heart breaks. Countless number of persons has being wounded and continues to be wounded in their relationships and the reason sometimes is strange to them even though, most know the reason for which they had to split ways and go their separate ways. In as much I recognize the genuine reason(s) that could constitute a basis for people to break their engagements with their partners; I know many are ignorant of one of the main reasons that cause it. As a concerned citizen of my country, I wish to bring to you my observations and recommendation that I have gain from stories of people around me and the books I have read on this wise.
You may go about
looking for the one thousand laws of keeping relationships but if this
particular point that I am about to explain to you is not heed; you may soon
realize that you were only a pretender trying to impress someone else. Most of
this pretence ends up in nothing but heart breaks and I am in no way down
playing the importance of reading other relevant materials along the lines of
keeping a healthy and blossoming relationship but I guess, you would also
realize that there are so many books to read on this subject. May be you are
one of those that find it hard to locate relevant material or you are lazy to
read volumes upon volumes of books like me then, you might as well try this prescription
about the main cause of heartbreaks in relationship (I call it a nugget). This
is very significant if premature deaths (due to heartbreaks) would be averted
and if a beautiful future must be secured for our young boys and girls.
I have seen girls
considered to be unkempt and ugly transform into a goddess simply because, a
new knowledge came to her: knowledge that if they take more time to look within
them, they are a dream material for another man: after all, one man’s food is
another man’s poison. It is this fact that makes me reaffirm my belief that
there is something good in everyone and while others focus on the negative side
(weaknesses) of a person (which normally leads to heart break in
relationships), I admonish everybody in relationship to focus on the positive
side (strengths) of their partners. Never forget this fact; you are meant to
complement each other and your strengths may be her weakness and your weakness
may be her strength thus, be her covering in her weaknesses and let her be your
covering in your weaknesses as well. Many people get it wrong when they want to
get a spouse who is a direct clone of their own selves but this is wrong. Yes!
This is wrong: if you can get a spouse that is thirty percentage of your
desired character then thank God and pray that you continue to understand him
or her because, you can never come to level (stage) where you say you know
anybody totally. It is a voyage you have embarked upon and you need to be
patient because the heart of man is desperately wicked above all things and no
one can search it except God. Thus, trust him for the right partner and grow
with the knowledge that he or she is not perfect and can never be perfect, only
focus on the strengths and very soon the weaknesses will fizzle out. Learn to
have endurance one for another.
It is my firm belief
that if you can focus on the strengths and not the weaknesses of your partner,
then there would be less heart breaks such as broken engagements, broken
marriages, etc. How the world needs to know that everybody is only striving
towards perfection and that someone’s strengths is another’s weakness. This is
why, like poles repel each other but unlike poles attract. The problem with
many people is that they are like poles (in character) but still looking for another
like pole (in character) to attract, no wonder they only see repulsion. You are
a tall man and you are also looking for a tall lady to marry such that a short
fair average height damsel came within the focus of your vision but because of the
idols of your heart, you have refused to settle down. This is the same for
women too; they sit and describe the type of man they want to marry: rich,
handsome, six feet tall, etc., and when they see a prospective young man who is
currently managing and don’t have much; they refuse to give such a chance.
Shortly after marrying the rich man (if they ever find one), they discover that
the said “poor guy” is now very wealthy and the said “rich man” has become
poor. Indeed! Nobody knows tomorrow except God; therefore, be careful lest you
start living in regrets as others have being doing in recent times. They keep
saying, “That was the person I supposed to marry but I messed up” and this
makes them live life of quiet desperation as they die slowly daily. They feel
like the ground should open so that they can enter there in and all these turn
of events happened because, they focused on the wrong things (weaknesses) and
not the right things (strengths) of such a person.
In conclusion, I wish
to say that with all your planning and with all the reading and strategies you
put on ground; without the help of God, it will only come to naught. For it is
the duty of a man or woman to plan but it is God that perfect such plans;
therefore, never for a second think that the arm of flesh will not fail you.
The best husbands and wives are those that love, reverence and fear God and no
other instruction no matter how rosy and appealing it may appear can guarantee
your relationship, it will only bring disappointment, failure, heart breaks,
hatred, malice, backbiting, variance, and premature death to mention but a few.
It is in lieu of this fact that I admonish everyone to hold fast unto God and
delight his or her self in God and God will in turn; fulfill the desires of
their heart.
Please, I will be
happy if you list other factors that you feel are responsible for the
heartbreaks experienced in relationships today in our world and I will be happy
if you can share and like the article. Thank you and God bless.
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